I didn't think I would feel this way. The last 22 years have brought about some annoying moments that I didn't think I would miss. The really? I have too much to do to stop what I am doing and attend to you moments. But, as I lay here breathing in the sweet aroma of his head, while nursing my 'baby' to sleep, for what I know could very well be the last time, I find myself experiencing a deep grief, sobbing, the sense that he could be our last makes the tears flow all the more.
I will miss this. The extra snuggle time with my babies reserved only for me. I will miss that deep sense of joy felt when calming my little ones the way only I could. The fact that I have known nothing else in our marriage but pregnancy and nursing, yeah you read that correctly-22.5 years. Society tells me I won't miss it, that I should not. But I already do. I know I have to let them go. I know God will bring other joys into my life as we enter this new stage. If you are a new momma, hold on to those moments and cherish. 22 years goes by in a blink. Lord, Help me to follow and trust in Your will. But, for now, it's going to be a night full of tears as morning approaches to another last before I rise. First time. Yeah. I'm going to miss this.